Men, whatever pickup lines you’ve been resorting to before, erase them from your heads. There’s a reason why you came to this article and it’s certainly not because you can swoop up women with your charms and good looks. If you’re reading this, you are probably having trouble picking up women and want to know what the best tips and tricks are to talk to them.
Take it from me when I say that women—especially the more attractive ones—have heard it all. So whatever pick-up lines you may have used before, just forget it. In this article, I will guide you step-by-step on the top 10 ways to talk to women and keep them talking.
1. Get Her Attention Without Being Creepy
When you see a woman that you’re initially attracted to, don’t scare her away by creepily staring at her all night from afar. Instead, you can find out if she’s interested in you by a simple body language gesture: eye contact.
Look at her until you’ve made eye contact and smile. Her initial reaction is to turn away from the gaze, but if she’s interested in you, she’ll look back and give you a long gaze back and maybe even a smile too. When this happens, it’s up to you to approach her and introduce yourself.
Remember, if you’ve already made the eye contact, don’t just keep staring because you’re just going to be pegged as the “creeper.” Go say hello.
Other ways that you can get her attention if you’re with a friend or two is to be close enough to her—but not too close where you’re shoulder-to-shoulder with her—so that she can hear your conversations. Say something interested out loud that she cannot ignore and would want to join in on the conversation. For instance, try something on the lines of “all women do it,” she’ll immediately want to ask, “all women do what?,” thus breaking the ice between you.
2. Be Natural On Your Initial Approach
The hardest hurdle that most men would say on ways to talk to women is how to approach her and start an interesting conversation. You either overthink it and become a nervous wreck or under think your strategy until you’re face-to-face with her and blurt out something stupid.
Sometimes you don’t need a witty pick-up line—women see right through it. Trust me, whatever you can think of, I’m sure they’ve already heard it from another guy. Instead of wasting the effort to come up with a brilliant pick up line, just approach her and say hello. If you’ve already made direct eye contact with her, then she has at least a bit of attraction to you.
If you really want a different approach to breaking the ice, utilize the environment around her. For instance, if you see her getting hit on by another guy and she let him down, go up to her and ask her “how did he do?” or “so what can I do to last longer than him?” It’s a bit cheesy, but at least it will seem like something you can both laugh about—just make sure to follow up with a good conversation afterwards or else you might end up like the last guy.
3. Be CONFIDENT But Not Too Cocky
I cannot stress this enough. I’ve had one too many hot guys approach me that I was simply not interested in all just because they looked like a deer in the headlights. That is not attractive at all when talking to women.
Women want to see a confident man who commands attention in subtle ways. Smile, stand up straight and look her directly in the eyes. She wants a confident man to approach her, not some timid boy or a cocky asshole. Remember guys: confidence is sexy, even if you don’t feel it. Just fake it until you make. Trust me, it’ll increase your chances of talking to women by like at least 50%.
4. Give Her a Compliment, But Be Genuine
Women love when you can pick out a feature about her that will make her feel good. Tell her how she stood out to you from across the bar because of her smile or how much more beautiful she looks up close.
The key is to give her a great compliment that is subtle and genuine. You don’t want to say something like, “you’re the hottest girl here” because she’s not going to believe you. Be more specific and mean what you tell her. Don’t just tell her that she looks pretty just to get bonus points because you’re not.
Lastly, you should know what to say after you give her a compliment. Usually the girl will say “thank you” and you reply “you’re welcome,” but where does the conversation go from there? To avoid the awkwardness, think of what to say next before you throw out a compliment.
5. Be a Story Teller
Women want to hear about how great you are without you bragging. This means, you should have somewhat of interesting things to say even if you live a boring 9-5 job. Your story doesn’t necessarily have to be the most exciting thing in the world, because it’s all about how you tell it.
Tell her about your boring 9-5 job, but say it with confidence and passion about how much you enjoy it. If you mean what you say, she’ll believe it. If she’s asking you questions then she’s actually interested in what you’re saying. Do offer her a drink if you’re going to tell her a story. Say something like, “you’re not going to believe what just happened to me, but let me buy you a drink first.” Carry on the conversation from there.
6. Remember, It’s Her World and She’s the Center of Attention
For every one story you tell her, let her tell you three. Women love to talk and have someone listen to them blabber, so talk about her and not you. Let her feel good about things she says and ask her specific questions about stories she’s telling you.
The more she talks about herself, the more she’ll like you. Funny how that is, isn’t it? The bottom line is, most women like men who can be great listeners. If she wants you to talk, she’ll ask you questions and that’s your entryway back into telling her another great story about you!
7. Master the Small Talk
There are going to be times when your conversations get interrupted or end awkwardly. In those situations, resort to small talk before you can pick your game back up again. Reveal something about you that will make her think that she’s the only one who knows about it, which will make her feel special.
Find out what she’s interested in first. It’s important to get some generic facts about her first and then expand the conversations from there.
8. Drop Topic if She’s Not Interested
Remember, the key to talking to women is that it’s all about her. If she seems disinterested in a topic that you brought up, drop it. If she doesn’t care about what you’re talking about then you’re going to bore her to death and make her want to go talk to someone else.
You can immediately tell if she’s disinterested if she’s giving you one word replies or saying “mmhmm” a lot. In that case, abort the topic and ask her a question about what she likes to do for fun instead.
9. Don’t Brag. Be a Gentleman Instead.
When you are at a good pace of conversation with a woman, don’t ruin it by being a brag. Showing off about how much money you make or boasting about how great your job is looks immature to a woman’s eyes, no matter how subtly you mention it. That is not the right way to talk to women.
Even when you try to indirectly pump your value, women can see right through you. Do other things to make her feel that you are desirable, like being a proper gentleman. Pulling out her chair and holding the door for her will go long ways in her eyes much more than showing off how much money you have. Talk is cheap. Be rich in your charisma and charm instead.
10. Leave Her Wanting More.
Once you’ve got a woman’s attention, you have to know when to end the conversation, take her phone number and say goodbye. This doesn’t mean have a quick chitchat, part your ways and hit on another woman. Rather, it is up to you to leave her on a high note.
This doesn’t necessarily mean “play hard to get,” because women hate when men play games with them. This simply means that your first initial meeting should be more like a teaser to the real thing.
Women like mystery in men because we are always trying to figure you out. So before you over show who you are on the initial first meeting, wait until the first date to unravel more about you. If she’s really interested, she’ll keep coming back for more.